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If not understood properly, the one in the longing position can easily believe that she or he is “in love.” If the object of the longing, often called “the beloved”, does reciprocate, “the lover” often runs the other way.

And so begins an all-too familiar game of chase with each participant alternating between the pursuer or distancer roles.

You then have 24 hours to decide if you want to connect.

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The game is emotionally intense but ultimately unsatisfying.

The bottom line is that real intimacy never occurs. It’s temporarily painful but there’s no long-term risk involved.

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