Try to boil down a short list of your absolute essentials in dating (aim for 3 to 4 qualities, such as “kind-hearted, wants marriage/kids, successful, physically fit”) and then do your best to let the other things fade into the background so that chemistry has a chance to develop.2.You come across as critical without even realizing it.If you feel like you hit a wall when it comes to dating when you’re otherwise confident and successful, see if what’s holding you back is one of these top reasons that I find my clients often struggle with.1.Your idea of being open to dating someone different means they have a different favorite color.OK, I’m being a little facetious here, but I do see a lot of clients who rule out potential matches over things that are actually really minor in the context of lifelong partnership — whether because of a height that’s less than ideal, political views that don’t match perfectly, or even a grasp of the hottest nightclubs.
Get out of your house because Prince Charming isn’t going to ride up on your stoop someday deary! Church events, work events or community events could be a way you meet someone.Conferences, seminars, lectures, conventions, and trade shows are all possible places to meet people. Activities in all these areas are usually planned in advance, so make an agreement with a friend to go together. Stand near an entrance, refreshment area, aisle, or water fountain.If you can’t get anyone to go with you, go by yourself. If you go with friends, unhook from them at some point and stand alone. I’ve heard people say they saw someone they wanted to meet, but the person was in a booth with four friends. If you see someone interesting, move within talking distance and make a friendly comment.Knock yourself out being friendly when you get there, and do the following: 1. When you get to where you’re going, scan the room to see if there is someone you want to meet. They couldn’t get near the person and there were too many people listening if they had tried to talk. This is a critical time, from “entering the zone” to “closing” the conversation.If you don’t see anyone who looks dateable, talk to the friendliest person in the room to keep building your social skills. If you get interrupted at any point, statistics have shown that it is unlikely you will get a chance to pick up the thread and complete the encounter, so be focused. Think of wearing or carrying something that is a conversation starter. These should not just be props but something that is authentic to you.When you find it hard or even impossible to date, even though you're lonely and hungry for a romantic connection, you have dating anxiety or what I call Dating Dawdlitis (DD). We get tongue tied and run the other way instead of saying hello to the cute guy on the train or the hot girl who works in the office.When we need to find a profile photo, we see nothing but pimples, warts and just how big our nose really is. There a hundreds, if not thousands, ofonline dating sites.There are more advice articles on the Internet on how to fix your love life than how to fix your toaster oven.There's another form of DD, we have pulled back because "nobody's good enough." We've dated a string of nerds and losers and that's enough, thank you very much.What we don't look at is how our own superiority masks a certain insecurity, a secret belief that, "There's something really wrong with me." When DD is full-blown, we may be paralyzed to the point where we can't or don't even try to jump into the pool of possible dating partners.