Here, on the off chance that she does, are five things, inspired by Zoe and Will, that you can do to ensure that your beloved daughter does not follow in Leah’s wake. Let him – and your daughter – know that nothing he does or says will ever change the way you feel. She’s a teenager, a slave to her hormones, incapable of making a decent decision. As long as she’s living under your roof, she will obey your rules.
1) The first time you lay eyes on the awful boyfriend, be rude and dismissive. You can tell by the way he dresses; you see it in his eyes; you’ve heard rumors. Once they realize you’re serious, they’ll end the relationship. 2) If, God forbid, he sticks around, criticize him at every possible turn. If he resents you enough, sooner or later he’ll resent your daughter too.
For example, you might say, “I noticed last week that you skipped your classes so you could spend more time with John. ” Of course, then ask follow up questions as necessary so that they can come to their own conclusion about the wisdom, or lack of it, in their decision.
It’s important for your child to come to those conclusions themselves.
ou’ve seen it in the movies or on TV: the sweet, innocent daughter is busy studying for classes, spending time with her family, and volunteering at the local animal shelter.
When she meets a sexy older guy, attracted to his independence, she begins to spread her wings. Parents remember their own good and bad choices while dating.They just want you to be protected from bad consequences which could affect the rest of your life.When it’s over and she’s dating again, she’ll see the light, realize what a horrible boyfriend he was, and she’ll thank you. If you’re Italian or hail from some other guilt-inducing culture, you can stop reading. The rest of you: let your daughter know how hurt and disappointed you are. Cry, whine, pray aloud, lie in bed with your shades drawn. Your entire clan, dead or alive, is disappointed in her. A grandparent or favorite aunt or uncle must be rolling over in his or her grave. Everyone thought she was better, smarter, kinder, or more mature than she’s proven to be. Now drag out the big guns: with a look of pure disgust, let your daughter know, in no uncertain terms, she’s chosen a loser. Compare her to the ‘good daughter,’ a sister or cousin, the child of a friend, any girl who dates (in your humble opinion) a half-decent guy. Start the conversation with love by sharing how you love them unconditionally, as I discuss in my blog [click to tweet] Your child will shut down if you start by attacking their friend.Avoid making statements like, “John is always selfish and controlling with you,” even if you know it’s true.Your grown child is spending money that he/she should be saving…making questionable career choices…or marrying the wrong person. Many parents think their best option is to say nothing when they disagree with their adult children’s choices.Adult children are, after all, adults who have a right to live their own lives.Finding someone to love who loves you in return is difficult.Learning how to deal with conflicts within that relationship can be extremely painful, as well.