I often get letters from men asking how to go about maintaining a friendship with an ex-partner after they’ve broken up, and this is no easy endeavor. In fact, this scenario is quite commonplace in the gay community.When some of us feel disengaged or removed from our own biological families, our friendships and lovers become families-of-choice that comprise wonderful additions to our support network of positive attachments and affiliations.Doesn’t suck when your good friend dates someone who you are extremely attracted to.I mean you really would love nothing better than to have them to yourself but you know you have to respect the boundaries (hopefully).Visiting with a trained counselor to help facilitate this is recommended, but you would ultimately want to sit down with each other to talk about things like what initially attracted you to each other, what worked, what didn’t work, ways you were hurt, what you learned from being in the relationship, what you’ll miss and what you won’t, your hopes for each other, express gratitude and forgiveness to each other, and share your goodbyes in your own personal way.This, or any other form of ending ritual, will help put your relationship in perspective and provides a solid launching pad for starting over.What that means is that the relationship was never that serious. I would never advise crossing this line when that relationship was something deeper or had a lot of history.That man or woman simply wanted to have someone at their convenience and that person was who they chose to fill that void. It just isn’t worth taking that route and possibly hurting your friend with your decision.
But what if you really, really fancy Sally, to the point you're picturing sleepy Sundays and all sorts of lovely, luscious romance? ); how much stress you're willing to endure; and ultimately what the friendship is worth.“Friendships typically last a hell of a lot longer than romantic relationships, particularly 'potential' romantic relationships.The last thing you want to do is burn your bridges with those who will continue to support you and be around you the longest,” explains Callow.They give us a sense of membership and belonging that we oftentimes may not experience within our own lineage.What follows are some tips on how to go about navigating this tricky relationship alteration: Immediately upon making the decision to end your intimate relationship, it’s important to conduct a “life review” of your relationship together to give it a proper sense of closure as you say goodbye to that part of your life together.Why fight the urge to date someone you really like just because the two of you have a friend in common?For those emboldened by Swift’s words, here are five ways to date your friend’s ex — without making it totally awkward. 1: If you want to get to know your pal’s ex better, you have to get your bud’s blessing first.“Now more than ever we need to be good and kind to each other and not judge each other,” she adds.“And just because you have the same taste in men, we don’t hold that against each other.” That’s a pretty progressive point of view — and not necessarily one exclusive to celebs who move in A-list social circles.Maybe it was cuddle season (fall holiday season to those who are not familiar with that term) or maybe they were just a rebound from the last failed relationship. For all you know they still have not resolved certain issues from that relationship.Now they would have to deal with seeing you with that person and that would not be cool at all.